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It's a sad fact of relationships - in the hunt for love, there'll always be casualties. We're talking exes, the ones who broke your heart, the ones you crushed, the ones who've been such a big part of your life that you can't imagine being without them.So how do you keep a good relationship with your ex - and should you even try? 'There are no hard and fast rules' says life coach Eve Menezes Cunningham. 'Every relationship is different. In some situations, you'll be happy to build a friendship, while in others you'll want absolutely nothing to do with him - or maybe he'll feel that way about you.
'Before you think about what you should be doing and feeling, take a moment to think about what you really want. How do you feel as you imagine becoming friends with him? Happy? Anxious? Sad? Hopeful? How do you feel as you imagine never seeing him again? Relieved? Disappointed? Forget shoulds and do what's right for you.'
And the way you handle the situation may also depend on who ended the relationship - and how messy it was.
'Whoever ended the romantic relationship, you'll both have to want to make the effort to turn it into something new that works for both of you,' says Eve. 'It's a whole new relationship, not a continuation. This can been much harder when it's emotionally raw and may be easier if you've drifted into friendship or a brother/sister relationship already.
'If you want to be friends but he's too hurt to consider it, accept it. Let him know you hope he'll get in touch if he changes his mind sometime in the future but be prepared to accept that he may never get there.'
If you're the one who's been dumped, be wary of trying to create a friendship as a way of clinging on to the relationship - you'll only cause yourself more pain this way. And be very wary of drifting into a 'friends with benefits' situation, she says.
'These can be tricky at the best of times, especially if one person wants it to become a relationship while the other is just into the physical aspects. It could be a recipe for hurt and confusion.
'Sometimes, it's best to make a clean break and move on - for both your sakes.'
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